A frequent topic of this blog that has, rather surprisingly to me, caught a great deal of reader interest is the ongoing project to map the contours of forgotten generations. These are the cohorts who’ve been memory holed since Madison Avenue no longer finds them profitable to advertise to.
Also contra expectations, Generation Y has emerged as an enduring object of fascination. So much so that the Gen Y label has made a comeback of sorts. It makes sense with the death of the internet becoming harder and harder to ignore and the sharp delineations between pre and post-internet cohorts coming into greater relief.
Those who reject Gen Y as a category on the grounds that it’s just a way for Millennials to distance themselves from their generation’s well-publicized faults ignore that most discussions of the topic focus on Ys’ vices. In fact, examining each cohort’s besetting sins nicely highlights the real differences between them.
Whereas Millennials are infamous for their neediness, self-absorption, and thin skins, Ys tend to be slothful, tractable, and self-doubting. Recently, a commenter added a long-overlooked demerit to Ys’ list of generational vices. Gen Y tends to have a default transactional view of relationships.
Consider this series of surveys from 2013. Following the ad men, the researchers left out the Gen Y category. However, what they term “Millennials” almost exactly aligns with Generation Y, especially since they polled 18-32 year-olds when Ys were 24-34. That was right around the median age of first marriage in 2013.
That marriage data is especially significant, since it shows a striking decline in marriage among Gen Y.
Just as tellingly, Gen Y has higher divorce rates than Gen X, despite having lower marriage rates as well.
It should come as no surprise that the survey also found that Ys have lower rates of church membership and trust people less overall.
Gen Xers get grief for being cynical loners, but Ys are measurably more antisocial.
To what can we attribute this marked introversion streak, when the next generation is known for being oversocialized to the point of seeking consensus on even the smallest decision?
Beating this drum is making my arm tired, but once again we must look to the Boomers. Guilty over having neglected their Gen X first children, Baby Boomers overcompensated with Xers’ younger siblings. Only they didn’t make an effort to spend less time at work and more with their Gen Y kids. Instead, Boomers bought off Ys with TV, toys, and junk food.
The problem with bribing people to like you is it teaches them that love is conditional. If you’re brought up learning that your first and most formative relationship is predicated on you getting resources and entertainment, you come to value all relationships solely based on what you get out of them.
That’s why the common refrain from Gen Y apostates goes “I just wasn’t getting anything out of church.”
Ditto for divorced Ys. “He wasn’t making me happy anymore.”
Male Ys critically lack real-life male friendships. That deficiency goes back to their earliest interactions with other boys, most of which revolved around what a playmate had.
“I’m heading to Josh’s birthday party. His mom bought him a whole set of Generation 1 Transformers!”
“Kevin just got Super Mario Bros. 3! I’m going over there to check it out!”
“Justin bought a VCR with his paper route Christmas tips. He’s renting a bunch of tapes and having a sleepover!”
Those mercenary friendships ended when one party could no longer extract value from the other.
Even today, members of Gen Y will tell you flat out that all relationships are transactional. When pressed, they’ll argue that even parents get something out of having kids.
You can easily dismantle that nonsense by asking if he’d disown his son if the kid became a net negative.
That transactional attitude also betrays Ys’ weak or absent virtue of religion. God is the Perfect, Absolute, Self-necessary Being. Claiming that we limited beings can offer something He lacks is definitionally absurd. He gives us everything, including life itself.
Transactional views of relationships are inherently coercive. They imply that both parties must keep bribing each other to continue the relationship. That’s manipulation, not love.
That’s why no one cares when the protagonist of the “Gen Y Tale” chapter of my #1 best seller disappears.
Read it and avoid his fate.
