In “Take me back, I want to go back” news, unwitting urban archaeologists have uncovered the sealed tomb of the King.
New Castle County Executive Matt Meyer Thursday could not resist getting a peak at a Burger King that closed more than a decade ago but remained intact.
Meyer posted the video Wednesday of a Burger King space that was never leased to another tenant at the aging mall.
A temporary promotional wall typically used when stores close hid the fast-food spot, with the owner-franchisee or mall ownership never returning to remove seating and equipment.
People Magazine and other sites reported hidden Burger King was first photographed in April.
The Home of the Whopper even had some leftover trash when Meyer and a mall official took a quick tour of the 1980s-vintage restaurant with teal and mauve decor. Still on hand was seating with an ’80s look and even beverage dispensers.
Note the almost pristine 1980s wall glyphs. Scholars of ancient ideograms believe the images’ purpose was to urge petitioners to BUY, CONSUME, and WATCH TV.
The lost restaurant has been identified with 99.99% certainty as the tomb of the King, ruler of a fast food empire that reached its zenith in the High 80s period.
While plant offerings and libations of pop and barbecue sauce were found in the junk food mausoleum, the King’s body itself was not present. That’s because he rose as an undead horror sometime in the aughts. Now the King shambles around the globe, defiling everyone’s food like a Current Year harpy.
But instead of excrement, the King dumps soy and poz.
Remember when you could walk into a fast food joint at your local mall and get a burger and fries without the parent corporation dictating morality to you?
Good times.
Then again, infanticide was the law of the land back in the 80s. So maybe it isn’t so bad staying here where it’s not.
How do you ward off the King’s marauding plastic mummy?
