It is with no regret whatsoever that I inform you they still can’t say it.
Exhibit A: The troll that scuttled in yesterday to snipe at Nick Fuente from behind the cover of Christian morality
But is he just a garden variety troll, or a witch?
There’s one sure way to find out:
Gentle readers, the Witch Test.
Still inerrant
Let me draw your attention to a few key facts:
One, I gave the subject more than the standard 24-hour time limit to make the profession of faith. As we all know, a Christian should be eager to proclaim his faith in Christ Jesus. Holding his tongue for a day and more constitutes a fail.
Two, note how he can’t resist befouling his alleged Christian polemic with Death Cult hexes. It’s a Dr. Strangelove level of compulsion.
Third, he straight up lies. Here’s just one instance that’s easy to fact check:
As far as the post in question aging poorly, in it I wrote:
But as of this writing, the most probable outcome is that Kent loses by under a thousand votes. The second most likely result is [he] takes the silver by a few hundred-vote margin.
That means the groypers did this.
And the result, after a week of counting that saw mysterious pauses while outstanding ballot totals rose and fell in a microcosm of 2020, was Joe Kent finishing second by a vote tally in the hundreds.
Which Nick himself stated as a groyper victory condition.
And every candidate they backed still won.
There’s a way to level honest criticism at my post, and it’s to say, “The outcome you said was the most likely scenario didn’t happen. Instead, we got the second most likely outcome.”
That’s fair. And true. It proves my calculations were a little off.
It doesn’t disprove my main contention, which is that AF is a serious political movement that punches above its weight.
Think of the situation in context.
Joe Kent had endorsements from Steve Bannon, Tucker Carlson, and Donald Trump. He had funding from Peter Thiel. And they ran him against a Republican who voted to impeach Trump. They were smart; they didn’t take any chances.
Yet the guy with Thiel money and 140K Twitter followers who went on Tucker multiple times came within a hair of defeat.
As smarter political pundits have pointed out, the race was Kent’s to lose. Full disclosure: I believed them and was skeptical of Nick’s war against Kent. Heck, I was sure he would sail into first place, which would have hurt AF’s credibility. Nick’s last-minute decision to cancel a groyper rally in Kent’s district convinced me his crusade against Kent would backfire.
But I was wrong. Instead of rocketing across the finish line, Kent was subjected to a week of languishing in third place before a sudden – and suspicious – windfall inched him into second.
And contra the witch, anybody who’s run for any office from class president to senator knows Kent wasn’t feeling dismissive about Nick. He was sweating every minute he stayed in third. Because losing this race would end his political career.
You don’t have to take my word for it. The witch’s own team acknowledged the threat AF posed to Kent.
So much for that item.
The following are submitted for the more esoteric-minded, and those in the mood for a quick chuckle.
First, here are the top 3 candidates’ vote totals:
Now here’s what a quick check of the troll’s location showed:
Of course a troll from Salem would end up being a witch.
I should have done that search sooner and saved some time.
This is how you know Halloween’s right around the corner.
For an even spookier story than this election, read my hit horror adventure novel:
