This blog’s ongoing project to beat the boundaries of forgotten generations has drawn a surprising amount of interest. Especially posts dealing with Gen Y and Millennials.
You would think these observations self-evident, but Madison Avenue has consigned these cohorts to the memory hole since they’re not longer profitable to ad targets.
Also against expectations, the Gen Y category has made something of a comeback. It stands to reason that with the death of the internet becoming impossible to ignore, the lines between pre and post-internet cohorts would sharpen.
Those who reject Gen Y on the grounds that it’s just a way for Millennials to deny their much-hype faults ignore that most discussions of Gen Y focus on Ys’ vices. In fact, examining each cohort’s besetting sins highlights the stark differences between them.
While Millennials are notorious for their opinionated self-importance, Ys tend to be tractable and self-doubting.
But we can add another fault to Ys’ list of common vices.
A transactional view of relationships.
Take this series of surveys from 2013, for instance. The researchers left out the Gen Y category, but the 18-32 year-olds they called “Millennials” closely align with Generation Y. The median age of first marriage in 2013 is a near match for Ys’ 24-34 age range back then.
That marriage data bears special importance, since it shows a steep decline in marriage among Gen Y.
Just as telling, Gen Y has higher divorce rates than Gen X, despite also having lower marriage rates.
It should surprise no one that Ys have lower rates of church membership too, and trust people less overall.
Gen Xers take flak for being cynical loners, but Ys are quantifiably more antisocial.
Millennials are known for being oversocialized to the point of seeking consensus on the smallest matters. So how did their elder siblings’ penchant for introversion emerge?
For the answer, we must look yet again to the Baby Boomers.
Wracked with guilt for neglecting their eldest offspring from Gen X, Boomers overcompensated with their middle kids. But instead of spending less time at work and more with Gen Y, Boomers bribed Ys with plastic toys and plastic food.
The trouble with paying people to like you is it teaches them that love is conditional.
If your first and most formative relationship is based on being fed and entertained, you come to value all relationships only for what you get out of them.
That’s why Gen Y apostates complain “I just wasn’t getting anything out of church.”
Ditto for divorced Ys. “He wasn’t making me happy anymore.”
And male Ys lack real-life friendships. It goes back to their first interactions with other boys, many of which revolved around what a playmate brought to the table.
“I’m heading to Mike’s birthday party. His mom bought him the USS Flagg and a whole set of G.I. Joes!”
“Brandon’s folks got him Sonic the Hedgehog for getting As on his report card! I’m going over there to play it!”
“Sam got a VCR for Christmas. His dad’s renting a bunch of tapes and letting us spend the night!”
Those mercenary friendships ended when one party could no longer extract value from the other.
Even today, members of Gen Y will tell you that all relationships are transactional. When pressed, they’ll argue that even parents get something out of having kids.
You can easily dismantle that argument by asking if they’d disown their kid if he became a net negative.
That transactional attitude betrays Ys’ weak or absent virtue of religion. God is the Perfect, Absolute, Self-necessary Being. Claiming that we limited beings can offer something He lacks is a non-starter. He gives us everything, including life itself.
Transactional views of relationships are inherently coercive. They imply that both parties must keep bribing each other to continue the relationship.
That’s manipulation, not love.
Instead of basing relationships on exchanging material gifts, learn to give the gift of yourself.
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